


It suits you

by FtDean



Category: Star Wars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 07:30:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10680603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FtDean/pseuds/FtDean
Summary: I don't do planning so god knows what this'll turn out like or even if it'll be more than one chapter.(D/N) = Dead name(L/N) = Last name(Y/N) = Your Name





	It suits you

**Author's Note:**

> I don't do planning so god knows what this'll turn out like or even if it'll be more than one chapter.  
> (D/N) = Dead name  
> (L/N) = Last name  
> (Y/N) = Your Name

You were first brought to the temple as a baby, after your family had died in a particularly horrid attack from the empire. You had only escaped with your life because of a small group of Jedi who came to counter the attack took you in.

Fast forward a few years and you were sat in the temple's library, buried deep into your studies you look up just in time to see a boy walk in. He was only around six or so, so just a year or so younger than you. He was struggling to look over the top of the many data pads he was carrying. You were just about to warn him of the statue he was just about to walk into but you called out too late. It almost happened in slow motion as he collided with the stone and the data pads went everywhere. You stood quickly and put your hand out, stopping the pads mid air so they wouldn't get damaged.   
Keeping the pads suspended you made your way over the the boy. It took immense concentration to hold the many objects in the air do you collected them and put them down safely before looking to the boy.  
“Are you alright?” You reached your hand out to him, in an offer of help.  
He gladly accepted the help and stood. “Yes, thank you.” He dusted himself off a bit before looking to you with a smile, “that was impressive.” He nodded towards the data pads.  
You smiled sheepishly with a shrug, “thank you.”   
The boy only grinned more, “I'm Obi-wan Kenobi. It's a pleasure.” He bowed slightly and put his hand out for a handshake.  
“I'm (D/N) (L/N). The pleasure is mine Obi-wan.” 

Forward again a couple of years and you and Obi-wan were meeting in the library practically every day for practice, studying and general catching up with each others day. “Oi, concentrate!” You laughed softly nudging Obi-wan’s arm.   
You were more gifted than him when it came to the practical side of the force so you were always giving him help.  
Obi-wan rolled his eyes and nudged you back before he went back to concentrating.   
He was trying to lift a pile of datapads and move them through a hoop.  
You practiced for a good hour before a master made his usual round to shoo all of the younglings out of the library. You nodded your goodbye to Obi-wan and left to your chamber. 

Forward some more, you and Obi-wan were just a year from either being chosen as a padawan or being sent away.  
You stood in front of your mirror tuning to the side you sighed deeply. How you hated them, your breasts that were a lot more prominent than you had remembered.  
You couldn't quite pinpoint when you had started to hate everything about your body but you knew that it wasn't normal. And that the hate had to be cleared from your mind, for the sake of becoming a Jedi but it's not so easily done.  
You walked down to the library to meet Obi-wan as you had every day for many years now. You had your arms crossed over your chest in a futile attempt to reduce its visibility.  
You felt a hand clap you on the back as Obi walked in front of you.   
“Good morning (D/N).” he smiled as usual. You had also grown to hate the name, it reminded you of all that you are. Obi’s face dropped as he sensed the force disturbance that surrounded you. “(D/N) are you alright?”   
You finally pulled your gaze from the floor and gave him a somewhat forced smile. “Sorry, yes. I'm fine.”  
He didn't believe you one bit, “do you wish to go back to bed? We can reschedule and you haven't any lessons-”  
“Oh stop your worrying Kenobi.” You rolled your eyes and pulled him along to your usual seats in a secluded corner of the library.  
You had tried to forget all and focus but it wasn't exactly easy with the worried glances Obi was giving you. You knew he must have sensed you weren't happy that day and your reassurance wasn't working.  
For the first time in years you were glad that your study session with your best friend was over.  
You practically ran back to your chamber and started to sob.  
You ran about the room, ripping an old set of robes and using it to bind your chest. It wasn't working. The lumps of your chest were still visible. They were still there, they were still there, taunting you. Telling you, you will never be enough.   
You collapsed down and searched for something, anything to give you release but alas, the room is baren with just a simple bed and.. your mirror.   
You stood and looked into the mirror, the fare faced reflection angered you. It was awfully vain and against every kind of Jedi rule to self loathe as you did but it couldn't be helped.   
All of your feminine features laughed at you, made you feel worthless. I'm all you just wished you were a boy, it would be so much better. No high pitched voice, no wide hips, no monthly cramps and most of all, no breasts.  
Without really thinking your fist flew forward and collided with the mirror and it shattered into pieces, some falling to the floor and some sticking into your hand.  
You started to cry again, holding your fist as the blood dripped down your arm.  
There was a loud knocking at the door.  
You didn't reply you just sobbed harder, they'd come in. Whoever it was would think you were worthless and-   
The knocking came again but this time it was followed by a panicked voice.  
“(D/N)! (D/N)! Please open up!”   
Great, just great! It was Obi-wan. You're only friend and he was going to witness this.  
You grabbed one glass shard and put it under your pillow, thinking you may want- no, you may need it later.  
The door flew open, you didn't dare to look up.  
You heard a panicked gasp and Obi-wan stepped into your room.  
“(D/-” he had started to say your name but you cut him off with a loud sob.  
“No! Please, don't.” You didn't look up to meet his eyes, you couldn't.  
He slowly walked over to kneel beside you.  
“I sensed you all the way from my chamber.” His voice was soft, “I came as soon a possible…” he went to reach his hand out to you but you retracted away from him.  
“Don't.” You're voice was broken, scratching at the back of your throat.  
“Look at me.” He pleaded and ignored your flinching as he lightly grasped your shoulders. “Please, look at me.” His voice was just above a whisper.  
You closed your eyes tight and shook your head. You couldn't bare to face him, to see the disappointment, the disgust in his eyes.  
Obi carefully took your bloody fist into his hand.  
“You did this to yourself?” He asked, knowing the answer but it was out of politeness and that he didn't know how to feel the silence but felt obligated to do so.  
Again you only nodded.  
“Why?” His voice was still soft but it had a newfound brokenness to it.   
Finally you opened you eyes and looked to him. The first thing you notice is he was crying. Tears down his cheeks and his eyes going slightly red.   
Obi looked at you, concerned but relieved that you finally looked at him. He pulled you into a hug, letting you cry into his shoulder.  
You could hear many footsteps quickly approaching and you held onto Obi with all of your might as a couple of the Jedi made there way to stand in your doorway.  
It was Master Yoda and someone else you couldn't see though your tears.  
“Obi-wan. Assist us in escorting miss (L/N) to the medical bay.” The other spoke, not making a step towards you. Again you tensed up and a hard sob ripped through you at the word miss.   
Obi noticed and gently helped you to your feet, not saying a word he picked you up. Wordlessly walking past the Masters, holding you bridal style in his arms.  
It was about then that you passed out.

The next day you awoke and it took a moment to adjust to the light. The first thing you noticed was Obi-wan sat in a chair just next to your bed. The second thing you noticed was he had been crying.  
You let out a dry cough, having not had anything to drink since before your breakdown the morning before.  
He suddenly darted awake and met your eyes and as quick as possible he got you a glass of water.  
“Good morning.” his voice was soft as it always was but it was hushed, as if it took a lot of energy to talk.  
“Morning Obi-wan.” You smiled weakly, still painfully ashamed of your actions.   
He didn't say anything for a minute, thinking of what to say.  
“Are you feeling alright?” He smiled back to you, shuffling his chair closer.  
“I guess so.”   
He frowned slightly, “I was so worried.” He sighed and gave a nervous laugh.   
“Why?” You weren't aware you had even spoke until he responded.  
“Because I care for you.”  
You replayed the words in your head, only to find it odd he didn't say your name in that statement, it seemed like something he'd do.  
You had half the heart to ask why again but stayed quiet.  
You both stayed silent, the only thing either of you said was a thank you to the med droid when they said you could go.  
You started down the corridor together in silence for a while.  
Obi awkwardly played with his hands, he wanted to ask about what happened, that much was evident.  
“Kenobi I know you have questions… so ask them.”  
He looked to you with the same old soft smile, “I don't mean to pry or be rude… I think I know what is going on with you.”  
You stopped walking your eyes falling to the floor. “Oh, is that so?”   
Obi quickly stopped and took both your hands in his own. “You haven't a reason to be ashamed. All I have to ask is… what name would you prefer?”  
Your eyes quickly darted to his, “what?”   
“Oh, have you not given it thought? Which is fine.”  
A smile spread it's way across your face, “I have given thought… I'd prefer (Y/N).” You were happy that he accepted you, but now also felt so stupid for thinking he wouldn't.  
“(Y/N) (L/N)... It fits you perfectly.”

**Author's Note:**

> That was one hell of a train wreck of a fic but i wrote it at like two in the morning ok? Don't judge me, I never sleep.


End file.
